OLD VERSION:

 The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building
 his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

 The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and
 plays the summer away.

 Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
 The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

 MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!

        MODERN VERSION:

 The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long,
 building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

    The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances
 and plays the summer away.

    Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference
 and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well

 fed while others are cold and starving.

    CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the
 shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable
 home with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp
contrast.

    How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor
 grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

    Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and
 everybody cries when they sing, "It's Not Easy Being Green."

    Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house
 where the news stations film the group singing, 'We shall overcome.'
 Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the
grasshopper's sake.

    Nancy Pelosi & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Larry King
 that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and
 both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his
fair share.

    Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper
 Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

    The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of
 green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his

 home is confiscated by the government.

    Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a
 defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel

 of federal judges that Bill Clinton appointed from a list of
 single-parent welfare recipients.

    The ant loses the case.

    The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last
 bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which
 just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because
 he doesn't maintain it.

    The ant has disappeared in the snow.

    The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the
 house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who
 terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.

    MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote